The One Thing He Wasn't
by RoseScor90
Summary: Alice had always known what she wanted, reliability. And did James fill that bill? Will she dare to find out or will she be the chicken? R&R!


Disclaimer: I don't think JK could ever write such a crappy story, so yeah, I obviously am not her…

A/n: This was written for the Next gen competition. The character was James Potter and the song that inspired this fic was _I'd Lie For You - MeatLoaf_

Also for the Professor Flitwick's prompt of the Day thread for January 27th prompt "Dance with me"

As a side note, I think this one's crap. This is almost the first time I'm writing James and he's a bit difficult for me to write, so do tell me how I can improve!

He was unreachable, she knew that. Oh yeah, he did claim to have an unending crush on her and was forever trying to get her to go out with him, but she knew. The moment she accepted, she'd be just another name in the list of his conquests, for he had many. For all the act he put up, he never seemed to be lacking a girl hanging over his arm. How that was supposed to convince her, she did not know.

But even if that extremely round about logic-less reasoning made sense, she wouldn't date him, simply because she knew; he wasn't the kind of person she was looking for. Alice Longbottom was a simple girl, with simple wishes. No big ambitions for her, no great heights she wanted to scale. And that was precisely why she knew she wasn't what he was looking for either. James Potter was nothing if not ambitious, and confident enough to achieve it. Where she'd shrink away from a challenge, he'd dare himself to do something big just for the heck of it. While she was a timid soft spoken Hufflepuff, he was the boisterous flamboyant Gryffindor. He was everything she was not, and he was everything she feared in a boyfriend.

For this reason alone, she kept rejecting him, hoping against hope that he'd realize that she wasn't worth it at all, that she'd just bore him to death after which he'd dump her without a second thought and would leave her with a broken heart. She knew that if she allowed herself, she could easily come to like him, love even, if he stayed long enough. But that was the problem, wasn't it? He'd never be with her for more than a day before he'd realize that she wasn't the special fairy he fancied she was. She was just another girl on the sidewalk, one that went about her business without even taking a second look at the busy street.

But sometimes, during those long nights when she couldn't sleep, Alice used to imagine her life if she did say yes. It would be glorious, surely, and she'd constantly be in the spotlight, but that wasn't a comforting thought. Most of all, it would be great to be James' date because, accuse as she might that he was inconsistent, he was also a caring person. She knew he'd hurt her and leave her broken, but he'd never intend to do so.

She held that one bit of knowledge close to her heart so that she wouldn't do anything stupid. James Potter was bad news; atleast for her. But Merlin was lenient on her; she had spent the seven years of her school life without relenting. After today, she'd never have to meet him again, if she wished, she could just forget that he even existed.

And so she sat on one of the tables that had been set up in the Great Hall, looking around at the celebration that was going on. That they had graduated seemed to have a significant effect on the students and some were even looking sad that they had to leave. After all those years of bitching and moaning about homework and tests, they were sad that they had to leave? What kind of logic was that? Amidst all the nostalgia, there was one portion of the Hall which appeared to be genuinely celebrating. Of course, James would be right at the middle of the gang, laughing and enjoying himself thoroughly. He had been accepted into the Puddlemere United team as their reserve Chaser, just as he had wanted.

Alice sighed, she'd never be able to get rid of her thoughts about him now. Why oh _why_ did he have to consume her mind like that? Alice turned around to watch her friend and her date waltz around the dance floor, completely oblivious of the attention they were garnering. Since when had Fred Weasley ever cared about what the others thought, anyway? And when Miranda Carlson was concerned, he almost never paid attention to the rest of the world.

"All alone?" Alice was almost smiling as she turned around to face James who was now seated opposite her, casually placing his legs on the table, balancing the chair on the hind legs. He was the picture of composure, but his eyes were as excited as that of a child at Christmas.

"My friends deserted me for their dates" she tried to act disapproving and must have failed for he laughed out loud, only replying with

"You could have done the same to them, if only you'd agreed to go with me" never one to beat around the bush was he?

"I can't" she looked away from his hazel eyes, wishing he'd just leave her alone and let her wallow in self pity. Didn't he understand at all? She wasn't what he thought she was. He did not know her and for heaven's sake, she wasn't even that good looking!

"You mean you won't?" he clarified, his eyes looking somber for the first time she knew.

"Makes no difference, James. The bottom-line is that my answer hasn't changed"

"And why, may I know, are you so adamant on rejecting me to the end of eternity?" he removed his feet from the table, his posture turning rigid by the second. She had touched some invisible chord and it was upsetting him.

"Does it really matter, James?"

"Humor me" he replied in that tone that allowed for no arguments.

"Okay then, how about the fact that I don't like you?" this was probably the least true fact but the thing was, she suddenly couldn't stand his presence anymore and wanted him gone soon. She felt like giving in, felt like taking a risk. She felt…reckless.

"And why are you lying now?" he wasn't being arrogant, or even over confident. It was as if he was stating a fact the entire world knew. Maybe they did, with the way she kept thinking about him.

"I'm not…"

"Alice, you might not believe me but I know you. I know when you're lying, when you're happy, when you're upset. And right now, you're upset that you lied to me"

"If you know me so well, then you surely must know why I keep rejecting you too?" who did he think he was, speaking to her as if she was some kind of puzzle he had victoriously solved?

"Yes I do. But I'd like to hear it from you"

"Why so?"

"Because then, you can see for yourself how absurd the 'reasons' are" Oh so now she was the absurd one, was she? This guy sure had an interesting way of asking her out.

"They aren't absurd. They're well thought out and completely true" she was arguing like a child, but for once, it felt nice to let out her frustration.

"And stupid"

"I don't understand how you think I'll ever agree, what with the way you keep complementing me"

"Alice I'm just trying to point it out to you that your reasons don't matter to me. All I care about is that I like you, and it isn't going to stop just because you think I'm not your type"

"And I, am not going to give in just because you're James bloody Potter. You can't always have your way, James"

"If you're trying to teach me a lesson, consider it learnt. Now, will you go out with me?"

"James I'll tell you once and only once, alright? You claim to know so much about me that you couldn't have missed the fact that I don't take risks. I need stability, reliability and constancy in my life, more than anything else. That is all I'm looking for and I can't just throw caution to the wind, which is what I'll be doing if I agreed. Maybe you won't dump me the next day, maybe you might be reliable, but I'll always be wondering won't I? I'll never _know_, I'll never be absolutely sure that you like me. I don't like playing guess with my life"

"I…You know I don't dump people like that, Alice. I don't…"

"I think half the female population of the school will testify to the contradictory"

"But that was all for you, Alice! Don't you see? I was _trying_ to get over you! I was attempting to move on. It never works. It's just…I can never love someone as much as I love you, Alice. And before you object, yes, I do love you, even though I know you don't. It didn't matter, as long as I got to see you everyday. But now, we're leaving and I might never get to see you again and it's…it's not something I can think of without hurting. But I guess it was too much to hope, anyway" silence reigned at the table for a few minutes. James refused to even look at her face, hiding his face within his palms. Whether it was because he was ashamed or whether he really felt sad, Alice didn't know. But her mind wasn't thinking of all those things. His words kept playing over and over, _he loved her_.

She had heard so many stories, about how exhilarating being in love was, how absolutely heady and senseless it made a human. And the person sitting before her was the best example of that. _He loved her._

But through all these, one thing remained, _Did she even like him?_ The answer was painfully apparent, what with the way her heart was hammering away almost painfully at the sight of his slumped form. For the first time in her life, she saw the side of him that she had thought non-existent. He was vulnerable, a mere harsh word from her could break him. It was clear as crystal in his eyes, how had she not seen it before?

"Dance with me? For old times' sake?" he extended a hand that she eagerly took. Did it matter that their hands fit? Did it matter that they were synchronous on the dance floor? Was it even important that she was regretting her words?

The silence between them was awkward, not because they had nothing in common but they knew what the other would say. There was no need for either of them to speak. But his eyes were a different story. She had always thought them warm, but she had been wrong; they were scorching. She was flushing beneath his gaze, intense hazel eyes staring at her as if he was trying to memorise her.

She raised an eyebrow in question but James just shook his head dismissively. Alice liked this, the silence, the dancing, just being this close to him. It was nothing like she had imagined. Having expected a tornado, she was pleasantly surprised by the gentle breeze.

The dance ended and James released her hand. She didn't feel cold because he was still looking at her and she was still standing near him. How could someone change their mind in a few minutes? She had never had the slightest oscillation before, why now?

The answer was obvious, plain stupid even, _Constancy._ That one word that she had claimed most important to her was what was breaking her from within. What he had said, about never being able to see her, that went the other way too, didn't it? And how would her life be without James in it? Empty.

There was a difference between emptiness and stability, wasn't there? James might not be a permanent fixture, but without him her life seemed blank.

She didn't love him, for sure, but she couldn't claim to be indifferent either. James was a part in her life, big or small she didn't know, but he was there. He _needed_ to be there.

"James?"

"Yeah, Alice?"

"How long do you think it takes for a person to change their mind?"

"Wha…ten minutes? I don't know. Why are you asking me this?"

"Five minutes more, I think"

"You're….after all this time?" Alice felt like she had been slapped. She knew it had been too good to be true. The very look in his eyes told her he was panicking. Alice placed a step back, trying to retreat but he was faster.

"No, don't. I was just surprised. You aren't joking are you?"

"Three minutes" a small smile was tugging at her lips, compounded on his face in the form of a wide grin. He held her close by the waist, the dazed look still not leaving his eyes. Alice couldn't help but chuckle. Just at that moment, a distant clock chimed midnight.

"Ten minutes are up"

"Will you be my girlfriend, Alice?"

"Yes"

"And what if I dump you the next day?" the trademark smirk was back in its place, and so was the twinkle in his eyes.

"I'd dump you before you even think about it"

"What if I run away?" he brought her closer, as if to disprove the point.

"I'll drag you back by the ear"

"And, what if I told you I loved you?" he whispered, his face inches away from her.

"I'd say get over it" she closed the distance between them, giving into her instincts. She'd be impulsive, for once.

A/n: Do review!


End file.
